TP For All - A Band, A Legend, a Way of Life.... - The Bio of Tris the Magnificently Humble

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Tris - Drums, Background Vocals, Bass and the bands dose of high intelligence

Tris' personal greeting and other thoughts will be added shortly

Tris was born into abject poverty at an early age. Forced to sell orange peels and emeralds to survive, Tris learned early on that life was a dog eat caviar world. Experiences, such as being chased by a rabid twelve pound hamster, having nightmares about cheese and compressed air, stubbing his toe on the saw blade and eating cookies straight from the cookie jar, helped shape his later fanatical devotion to the philosophical movement that is TP For All.

At the age of eleven, Tris was able to build the entire Taj Mahal out of Lincoln Logs. To date this feat has yet to be matched. At twelve, Tris was regularly reciting the collected what-nots of Spinoza and Sam Spade. As a teenager, Tris regularly taught college classes on Marxism and Siberian-American studies. He also had a sympathetic tree sit-in to support the intrepid Julia Butterfly Hill and Darryl Hannah (Tris cannot be held liable for the collapse of said tree due to the extreme weight of his stereo system and pet lobster, Polly).

Tris has long been known for his deep thinking and excellent wit. People have been moved to tears by his speeches. One dear lady was immediately struck dead by sentiment when he uttered the words, "I am for the good things in life... and I am against the bad things..." (Tris holds no liability for the death of said woman, nor her impalement on the rebar post as she fell, nor the mass suicide that followed by fellow sentimental followers). He continues to hold lectures and speeches, winning millions of converts to the TP For All cause. "It's for the children!" is one of his common rallying cries, sending the women in his audience into shrills of ecstasy.

One fateful day, Tris witnessed the most terrible act man can inflict upon man, the purposeful absence of TP! Though Tris himself was not the victim (Tris cannot be held liable for being the one who forgot to put the TP back in the bathroom), the visual after effects of that dreadful day convinced him that something must be done on a worldwide scale. In TP For All, that dream can at last be realized! Viva la Revolution!